Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
