just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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