it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
