Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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