the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
not ubering you a puppy
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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