Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize