i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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