I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
