saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize