i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
