I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
