that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
