I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
