Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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