I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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