every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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