There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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