I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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