i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
