I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
