look no pants
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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