He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
