I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
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I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
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Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
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