im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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