i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
