Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
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