I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
