He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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