peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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