Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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