Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
