Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
The best revenge is premature balding
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
