Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize