I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Lo siento on account of my penis...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
