he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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