To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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