You're so nebulous sometimes
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
