my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
