At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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