cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
she peed on how many people?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
