Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
