They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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