So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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