Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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