Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
last night I used snow as a chaser
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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