doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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