we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
