margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
