it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
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