is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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