We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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