WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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