How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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