you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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