So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
