The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
