you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
My liver just had a heart attack.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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