Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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