Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
