Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize