Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize