I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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