Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(254): View more from Texas

just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.

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(619): View more from California

Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?

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(519): View more from Ontario

I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.

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(310): View more from California

If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic

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(206): View more from Washington

But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...

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(240): View more from Maryland

I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life

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(830): View more from Texas

Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻‍♀️

(417): View more from Missouri

I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...

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