you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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