i just wanna soil my oats bro
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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