You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
