Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
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Once did it in the family room, first night staying over at her house with her dad (aka Army Colonel) sleeping right down the hall, on an Army base, surrounded by all that is Army. Achievement 1
try having your girlfriends entire family walking around not 6 feet from you, while you and her are banging in a tent.
try having a face to face conversation with her parents while still inside her
I remember when I had my first beer
Been there done that. Try having your dad and brother awake in the next room and your friend asleep in the same room.
You act as if your parents never had sex, nor recognize when others are doing it. He knew *exactly* what you were doing.