i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
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